He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
