Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
