how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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