I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
