At least make sure they are 18
Why
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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