it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
