Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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