Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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