no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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