You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
