I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think I just sharted jello shots
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