can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
