i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
