Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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