Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
