we're blogging at a bar
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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