"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?