I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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