Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
