my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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