he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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