the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
