Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
