fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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