I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
