google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
