i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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