She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
