I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
