They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Im part way to drunk.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
