I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize