I can't watch pbs sober anymore
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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