We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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