His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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