do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
