This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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