mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't turn off my feet"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
