Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
