I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
