Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
