Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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