How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
