You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
