fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
