we're blogging at a bar
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
