Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
