I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
