Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize