White coat. Heels.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
