I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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