brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
whose ass print is on the piano?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
