You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
