why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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