okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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