Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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