i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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