her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize