why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...