i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts