I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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